I did art...

Mmmm...Cain and Glitch smut...




enjoy

This is for the Fanart50 challenge...and I really wanna try it -^_^- wish me luck!

I updated...yay...
I also made a pretty background...
LOVE ME!!
I hit 10,000 on my DA accoutn today. I NEED to finish the 10k pic...or I will be killed...but Fatal Frame 3 calls.
Mind you, not that anyone out there really cares anyway ^_^

I hate life...and that seems to be a recurring theme in my journals and whatnot.

Oh well.

Things will get better>_< My Stina is on the up and up to better times (WOOHOO JARED!!!) and unfortunantly, she's dead set on playing matchmaker--which I don't mind, I just know it'll end in tears. Either mine or the guys. I'm not sure yet.
Dear gods help me.

ANYWAY! Enough stooooopid rambling. I'll update latah!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Hullo...long time no see everyone! I know I have been M.I.A for a good while, but there is good reason for it!!!
I have Deviantart to deal with and school to cope with and random people and life to make sense of!! Such a hassle!!
I'm not that happy anymore...well...lately I've been much happier thanks to a good long Get-Away-From-Here beach trip and a new dude I just met online named Stephen^_^ He is a wonderful person and he makes me smile...
So cause of him and a little R&R, I've kinda bounced back to normal Sami...
Kinda anyway!
School at Nash tech sucks, I have no idea what's gonna happen to me in my quest for work and transfer options, my family is nuts, I have nothing to really strive for in life, and somedays I feel like I just want to say "Screw it, I give up!!" and just...just leave...
Sad yeah?
BLAH! Oh well!
At least I have some people to talk to and my drawings to keep me company!!! ^_^ *squeeee*

Haven't written in a while. Why? Because I haven't had the will power to do so...I know, how lame, but oh well...I am having some problems. I am unsure what my future holds for me. All I can see is a black void. Nothingness. That's how I feel. I can't really describe it. It's like waking up to find out that everything you thought and believed in was nothing more than a dream...A dream that was shattered by the harsh reality around you. It makes me cold. I makes cry...I cry more often now-unsure what I'm to do. I think I might end up in some dead-end job doing something I loathe just so I can coninue to live...live a life that has no purpose and no direction. Just menial labor with no true benefits. I draw. I want to do that for a living...but who really thinks my stuff is good? I look at it and then some of the artwork done by others and it makes me physically sick. I cried the other day. Cried with a burning hate for the things around me, the people around me, and for my inability to succeed. And then I laughed...uncontrollably I laughed at how stupid I had been to think I was ever going to amount to anything earthshattering...I am nothing. I can't stand to look at myself sometimes...I think that's why I'm getting so testy around my friends. My ONLY friends...there aren't that many now and I love them so much I think I might just waste away if I were to loose them. But I think they grow tired of me...I can understnad-I don't want to, but I do...Life isn't fair, people move on, and I do to. I want to keep them as my friends forever, but I fear that having to go off to college will drag us all apart. Well, drag them all away from me. I think they don't really like me...maybe just tolerate me sometimes...But I know this isn't true...Deep in my heart I know it's not. If they didn't, these are the knids of people who would make it known that they want nothing to do with you...Then why do they rarely call...why is it never...oh forget it. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of having these black thoughts in my mind all the time, whispering things that I know are not true, but things that my consciousness uses against me. Will I ever make it? I pray to the gods everyday that I do, but deep down I am terrified that I will slip...and that, though there are people all around me, no one will catch me...and I'll fall...fall.

I am torn between childish glee or unbridled terror...Why you ask? Well, It just so happens to be 2 seperate things...

I just saw Van Helsing...I personally, along with my friend, thought it was a freaking GREAT movie!! I loved the mixing pot of old horror films, I loved how they went about it in the plot, I loved the plot, I was impressed greatly on their take on Vampires and their offspring, the special effects were absolutly stunning, the friar was my favorite, Frankenstein's Monster was just like he should have been-just like he was in the books, werewolves now RULE, and most of all...it was alot of really pretty EYE CANDY!!!!

Now on to something scarier...I rented Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly and am currently so unbelievably scared it's not funny. Want a scary game...get that one. I can only play it with my friend in the room (mainly cause I--we are scared and we both started and want to finish) so she can help me...we keep playing despite it's terrifying feel because we wanna know what happened. We know we can look it up and find out the good ole fashioned way, but we want it to be a surprise...we wanna try and work it out.
I will be doing fanart for both Van Helsing AND Fatal Frame 2!!! Yay me!!!

I just updated my LiveJournal. I got the colors I wanted and fixed everything all pretty^_^ Me and my limited skills in the computer!! I am horrible with this stuff sometimes.
I just got finished doing a shit load of JUNK for my BIology 2 class at college...grrrr...Blackboard was down so everything had to be fixed. Grrr again!!!
I need to work more on my pics. Doing the tarot think like I said. I am going toeventually watercolor them^_^ My list is:
1. Anime
2. Harry Potter
3. Video Games
4. My alterego characters and others fromt heir universe.

It's so much fun!!!
I really like these journals. They are fun.
My elfwood account is taking ubber long what with my PENDING ticket for a Fanquarter account. I submitted that bitch in a month ago and it is still 550 out of 1653!! ::sobs:: It ain't fair!!!!!

Why? Because I HAVE to go to church!!! It annoys me to no end!! I hate going because: (1)I totally dislike the people-We don't connect on the same level, (2)Everyone to me seems like shallow and ole bitty-type people, (3)I don't completely believe what they're throwing at me, (4)I hate dresses, (5)I know I have to where dresses so I don't embarass my mom (I couldn't care less what I wore...Jesus and his guys wore ROBES and the like for their services!!) and lastly...(6) cause the Preacher Guy loves to make us stand up!!!
::screams:: I HATE THAT PLACE!!! We're moving...cause we're growing. ::twitches::Gods help us!!!
I'll only be drawing the whole time^_^ yay me! I do! I draw as soon as I get into Sunday School and then up until and during Big Church. ::grins:: and no one can stop me!!!
::mad laughter::

Okay. This livejournal thing is pissing me off...it's not showing my pictures right. Oh well...no crying^_^ My neck and elbow hurt...I don;t know why, but I think it's gonna rain soo. I hope so. I love rain. It's the best there is!!
I have a debate due next week. Yikes. My group is the Pro-Women's Draft group. Uhg. THe only thing there is is the totally feminist groups...and we think they're kinda fanatical. ::shudders:: My gender goes too far sometimes!
I am still hungry, but I'll be okay.
I am looking for nifty tarot card sites to get an idea of what I'm gonna be drawing.
Okay...going.

I am so freaking upset!!! I just talked with my mom, and I vented all my frustration on my struggles in my Precal Math class. ::sobs:: I feel so stupid when I'm in there!! I made a 10 (A 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) on my last test. Why? Because I understood NOTHING. I DON'T understand WHY some of this stuff is done, so I don't grasp HOW to do it. Yeck...
I'm hungry too,
My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. We both decided it was best because we were better at being Best Friends than a couple. He'll always be my first true boyfriend though...and no I am NOT counting when I went out with him and 2 other of my friends at the same time...yes, they knew about each other...they were the ones who brought it up as a joke, and I agreed^_^ I was the Communal girlfriend^_^
Okay...ignore that...it was stupid.
I need to draw more.
My next big project will be Anime Tarot Cards. I have been thinking of who would be what. If anyone ever reads this thin, let me know what you think^_~
Going for food!!!